Thursday, March 19, 2009
You are on to me. I am avoiding writing about Christmas after all my big talk. It has proved harder than I imagined. I can't believe I won't share another Christmas with Bryan. My brain is small and it cannot wrap around that fact just now. I will add that I am so grateful that I have spent EVERY single Christmas morning of my life with my brother. It is a gift that I will treasure in my heart until we are reunited. Not many families are as close as we were. I know that now. I did not know it then. I consider all the years I was given with Bryan a special prize. And I am beginning to think about Bryan's death in a new way--not so much pity and sorrow for myself, but finally the abillity to think about Bryan and what his life is like now. And so I can be happy for him. Even though I am still sad for me. Hard to explain. But it seems "more right" than pure grief.
So I will just post some quickies...this picture was taken in the late seventies in our old home in Ontario. We are sitting around that formica table I can still remember, stringing popcorn and cranberries. Bryan is about 6 or 7? Love those big 'ole bunny teeth! It may look craftsy and traditional but stringing garland is hard work! I am sure my mom did most of the work and we did most of the snacking.
When I moved out on my own at 19, my roommate and I were nostalgic and hokey. We decided it would be sentimental to string our own popcorn for our first Charlie Brown tree. Deanna and I popped bowls of popcorn and threaded and pulled and threaded and pulled. Do you know hwo many times the pieces just broke after all that threading and pulling? After hours, we had one small rope to ornament our tree. WAY too much work. So I commend you today, mom for your endurance. I have never even attempted the tradition with our children! But now I know why you switched to fake garland when money wasn't so tight.
PS Yes, Meredith, this story was prompted by my craving for popcorn this week. :)
Posted by Reilly Fitzpatrick at 8:45 AM