THE Gift

Uncle B, Aidan (nephew), Bob (brother-in-law, my hubby), and Samuel (nephew)

I don't pretend to know how to help my kids grieve their uncle or process all the questions they have as a result of his death. I am just managing this grief of my own. It is exhausting. But I do know that the kids miss their Uncle B.

Kate's birthday is in a few days. In the past, she would be looking forward to her date with Uncle B and getting excited. Uncle B took the kids to Toys R Us for a "pick any one thing you fancy" date. Talk about a child's fantasy come true! They did not have to consider whether it was practical, whether they had two of the same already, how much it cost--Uncle B just bought it. And he didn't rush her. Kate likes to go up and down every aisle and examine every option. UGH! That would torture me--I don't have time for that. But Bryan took them alone, let them peruse the entire store and never once uttered, "Alright already. CHOOSE!" I think Kate picked the same thing three years in a row. That would drive me crazy--what's the point? But Bryan saw the point clearly--that is what she wanted. And he wanted to get her what she wanted.

Bryan was only a phone-call away. He enjoyed the pumpkin patch, the baseball practices, the ballet recitals, the birthday parties, the spontaneous field trips. In this picture, just nine months before his death, Bryan joined our family in Escondido at the Icoplex for an afternoon of ice skating. He was terrible at it. If he were here, he would confirm that. But he laughed and kept up with the kids and had a good time and sore ankles. I love that my kids knew, really knew, their Uncle. That is the priceless gift he gave them. Even better than a shopping spree at Toys R Us.

By the way, my daddy is carrying on the tradition inspired by Bryan's keen understanding of kids. He will be taking Kate for an overnighter and shopping event this Friday. The legacy continues.