Wednesday, April 15, 2009
So weird. I logged on to write my blog today just after searching for a sample of the new U2 CD "No Line on the Horizon". I have been wanting to check it out. No luck.Then I signed in here and who should be blaring on this very site but U2--singing their "Beautiful Day"? Close enough. It's a U2 day. Although I never remember my brother being especially fond of U2?
That is the weird thing about a one-side storytelling attempt like this blog. Bryan is not here to round out my stories, to share his perspective, to add what I overlooked or left out, to correct me. I am trying to tell his story. But I can not truly accomplishing that. I have been kinda struggling with that this week. I do have many more stories to share but when I try and share something that captures the essence or just really "shows" Bryan, I am at a loss. I can't do it. I am not him. I can't give the motivation or feeling for why he was who he was or did what he did. I can only give you my view of it. I can only offer bits and pieces of my collage of memories of my brother. I can't make you "see" him or enjoy him or understand him if you didn't know him while he breathed. I won't be able to do that, no matter how hard I try, even for my sweet Peter boy. He will grow up "knowing" the Uncle B I created here. So I feel like this is all a little bit foolish and mundane and useless today. This blog will never be able to do what I set out to do with it.
I tried to remember Easters in the Klungreseter household. I am so scatterbrained and forgetful. I feel like someone snatched a good portion of my cerebrum while I slept last night. My mind is just not what it used to be. I can't conjure up one Easter tradition or morning memory with of my brother when we were little. We did not celebrate Easter together as adults as he usually worked and we usually attended a Resurrection Celebration so I could not even use a more recent story. As I was reading some other blogs I follow and enjoying their offerings of Easter photos and memories, I felt sorry for myself. I can't remember any Easter stories with Bryan.
He would chime in with, "No way sister! Don't you remember that time when..." if he were here to tell his own stories. He had a seemingly endless supply of memory on his hard drive. Wish you were here Bryan to be my storyteller. You are so much better at it than me.
Posted by Reilly Fitzpatrick at 5:56 PM